Spiraling Upward – A New Journey

 

Sometimes in life, things don’t go as we hoped or dreamed they would.

Sometimes it feels like our world is spiraling out of control or that we are stuck in a “downward spiral” where we find ourselves full of anger, rage, pain, resentment, hurt, fear, panic and so many other negative feelings and emotions that begin to consume us  -to the point that we can no longer see the beauty in our world around us.

This past year, I found myself on one of these painful spirals.  I allowed myself to stop seeing the light in the world.  I allowed my hurt to bring darkness into my life in a way I had never experienced it before and I stopped “looking up.”

I stopped noticing the little things in the world that brought me joy.

I stopped seeing the world in color.

I stopped believing that there was still beauty out there, but most importantly, I stopped seeing the beauty I held inside of myself.

Today, I am choosing to “Spiral Up” and lift my chin, hold my head high, see the beauty above and around me and within me and set about on a new life journey to discover who I am, as me…as Jen…instead of ” his wife,” “their mother,” “our friend,” “my sister,” “our community leader,” “our granddaughter” and so many other labels that I have worn  over the years that I no longer carry and some that I still do.

There is a whole person that lives inside of me, that I have spent the past 44 years with and still do not know intimately and deeply. There is a person inside of me that I have not respected very much in the past, that I have failed to lift up, to support, to believe in, to nourish and to love.

As I begin my journey, those are the things I need to focus on or I will never make it through to the other side.

This blog is going to be where I share my personal journey through the dark spaces, the enlightenment, the joyful moments I never want to forget and the love I find along the way, for others but mostly for myself.

Feel free to follow along with me.

Walk beside me…I have plenty of snacks and warm blankets to share, a hand to hold, and lots of hugs and love to give.

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