Sometimes in life, things don’t go as we hoped or dreamed they would.
Sometimes it feels like our world is spiraling out of control or that we are stuck in a “downward spiral” where we find ourselves full of anger, rage, pain, resentment, hurt, fear, panic and so many other negative feelings and emotions that begin to consume us -to the point that we can no longer see the beauty in our world around us.
This past year, I found myself on one of these painful spirals. I allowed myself to stop seeing the light in the world. I allowed my hurt to bring darkness into my life in a way I had never experienced it before and I stopped “looking up.”
I stopped noticing the little things in the world that brought me joy.
I stopped seeing the world in color.
I stopped believing that there was still beauty out there, but most importantly, I stopped seeing the beauty I held inside of myself.
Today, I am choosing to “Spiral Up” and lift my chin, hold my head high, see the beauty above and around me and within me and set about on a new life journey to discover who I am, as me…as Jen…instead of ” his wife,” “their mother,” “our friend,” “my sister,” “our community leader,” “our granddaughter” and so many other labels that I have worn over the years that I no longer carry and some that I still do.
There is a whole person that lives inside of me, that I have spent the past 44 years with and still do not know intimately and deeply. There is a person inside of me that I have not respected very much in the past, that I have failed to lift up, to support, to believe in, to nourish and to love.
As I begin my journey, those are the things I need to focus on or I will never make it through to the other side.
This blog is going to be where I share my personal journey through the dark spaces, the enlightenment, the joyful moments I never want to forget and the love I find along the way, for others but mostly for myself.
Feel free to follow along with me.
Walk beside me…I have plenty of snacks and warm blankets to share, a hand to hold, and lots of hugs and love to give.